If you’re reading here, you probably know that we’re all about self-development and improving yourself to the best version you can be.

However, depending on where you start, it can be hard to know what to improve first.

In this article, we tried to put together the most important things you can improve on to level-up as quickly as possible.

Let’s go:

Adress the most glaring issues first

In our opinion, it’s imperative to address the things you obviously lack in the most first.

Dating successfully is often more about eliminating obvious flaws than becoming perfect in one specific trait.

In addition to this, from a perspective of effort/reward, eliminating obvious flaws is always better than becoming top tier in one department.

Let us give you an example, since fitness is also a big part of this page.

Losing some weight and going from overweight to getting a decent physique is a huge bonus and far easier than building your physique for years on end to become a top tier bodybuilder.

When it comes to attracting women, being in bodybuilder shape also does you no good, as women are more attracted to the “natural” looking physique.

Don’t get us wrong, even building a decent enough physique will take some time and effort, but it still is not comparable to working for years on end in order to get to a 0.01% physique.

Therefore, becoming a top bodybuilder will likely bring little benefits compared to how much more effort you need to put in.

Another example of prioritizing your self-improvement work:

If you dress shitty and look like a 45-year old dad who has given up on life, purchasing new clothes that are higher quality and fitting and then matching them appropriately is enough.

Becoming a fashion expert will reap you little additional benefits.

Taking care of the basics will get you 70-80% of the results.

Obvious lacks can take the form of hunderds of different things, so let us go ahead and give you some ideas:

• Bad hygiene
• Terrible clothing style
• Being overweight
• Smoking weed
• Living in a basement / poor place
• Living in an area where there are no suitable prospects for dating
• Shyness
• Social awkwardness

Look, you have to analyze your starting point and identify your personal issues when it comes to your appearance / your behavior.

As you probably know from other fields, a proper analysis in the beginning helps you put a plan into practice afterwards. The same is true for prioritizing your self-improvement work.

This list might be different for each of you, but the first step is getting aware of these things.

Start with how you appear

The outer layers are always easier to improve than the inner ones. We would therefore recommend that you start with your appearance.

Look, we know that this might sound shallow on first glance.

However, nobody even sees your character or your deeper traits until you converse with them.

This is only the first step, though. You also have to have an idea on how to convey these character traits in an attractive manner. In other words, you have to have game.

Before all that, though, you have to get your foot in the door. Nobody will give a damn about your character until they see at least a somewhat promising package first.

What people see (i.e. how you look) will have the biggest impact on first impressions and how a potential mate will react to you.

Since first impressions matter so much and are often long-lasting, we recommend that you prioritize the traits, which contribute to first impressions the most.

Although researchers might say otherwise, we all know how much impact a person’s looks can make. Some of the things you can work on are:

• Posture
• Walk / movements
• Physical shape
• Haircut / beard / grooming in general
• Good style: either edgy/badboy or professional. Outside of teens and guys in their early 20s, we recommend classy and high-status here. The authors often take inspiration from the “old money style”, with well-fitting clothes that accentuate your physique.
• Accessories

We encourage you to work on these traits first if you want to see a rapid increase in your (perceived) SMV. This exactly what we mean with prioritizing your self-improvement work

In Italy there is a phrase that says “fare una bella figura”, which means “make a beautiful figure” but is more about a way of life.

The phrase is about the importance of making a good impression and a way of life. Without philosophizing too much, looking the part can also reflect your deeper traits!

Dressing well and looking like an important man gives you a huge status boost before you even say “Hi” to someone.

Aim to be the best-dressed man/woman in your circle and you will automatically be perceived as higher status by onlookers.

In addition to this, people will remember you looking good and – more often than not – recognize you based on how you stood out to them because you dress really well.

For the most part, it’s not about how pretty your face looks but more about how you carry yourself. In other words, it’s all about presentation.

Present yourself like you’re higher value, carry yourself like you’re higher value and people will believe it. Sooner than later, you will believe it yourself.

What difference does that make?

A HUGE one.

When people recognize you like this, you can interact with them as if you were a minor celebrity. We know that “fame” and “status” are some of the biggest dating hacks… So here you go.

Yes, it’s true that appearance plays a bigger role with women, especially when it comes to short-term dating.

BUT don’t let that fool you into thinking you can just focus on “who you really are” and stick to that prioritization of your self-improvement work instead.

Because it’s funny: The surface layers are often easier and faster to improve than the deeper layers.

Working on your character is a grind and takes longer. Earning lots of money to improve your resources also takes a long time.

Additionally, some personal traits are even more “tricky.” How can you become kinder or more intelligent? How can one become more ambitious?

However, a single day of shopping for good clothes will give you an instant boost.

Traits to work on

It’s always a tricky business to provide people with “listicles” to work on. Too many people fuck up because they believe that these things are all it takes to be attractive.

In this case, we’re talking about appearance and what you can work on to be the best version of yourself when it comes to these traits. Here we go:

Appearances include:

• Outfits / styles
• Posture
• How you walk
• White teeth
• How you move
• Facial expressions
• How you smile
• Gaze / eye contact
• Haircut
• Beard / facial hair
• Indicators of status / power

Right after those traits comes:

• Voice
• Conversation skills
• Frame control
• Leadership skills

These all seem relatively fungible. However, we will have a complete breakdown of all of these things on this website as we continue to put out more content.

Our tip: Don’t align your behavior with your appearance!

Rather than aligning your behavior with your style, we encourage you to counter-adapt.

If you always dress well and classy, make sure to display some dominance, drop some swear words or tell an intense story.

On the other hand, if you dress more like a badboy or work a blue collar job, display some verbal finessing, logical reasoning/debating or try to sound smart.

Some of you might ask yourselves why one would go with this strategy… Isn’t it better to appear more “congruent” when it comes to your appearance?

We would argue that this isn’t the case for the following three reasons:

1. It increases your allure (you’re more interesting)
2. It makes you more mysterious and harder to label/put in a box
3. It makes you seem deeper

If you run with this strategy, it’s very hard for people to put you into a box.

In addition to this, it makes you seem more sociable, as you show that you can operate in different environments and are able to connect with different people of different socioeconomic classes.

Presentation matters, even with deeper layers of your personality

Now you’ll probably ask yourself how this is possible. Consider this: Nobody knows exactly what’s going on inside your head.

People react to you based on how you appear to them and how you present yourself.

Therefore, the indicators of an underlying trait are often more important than the trait itself.

For example, some authors claim that women like fit men because being fit seemingly indicates an ability to fight and protect.

Look, we all know that having a good physique probably means nothing when it comes to real fighting-ability.

However, the “superficial” indicator of fighting ability, a good physique, matters more than actual fighting skills.

When we look at it from this perspective, hitting the gym a couple of times a week might be better for your dating life than learning how to Muay-thai.

Learning Muay-thai might improve your ability to protect a woman and being “fit” much more, but muscles are still more visible and usually award more points when it comes to the sexual marketplace (and also male dominance hierarchies).

Prioritizing self-improvment work the right way would therefore mean: Get your ass to the gym.

As mentioned before, presentation matters.

At the same time, sexual confidence matters much more than actual skills when it comes to sex, which is even more evident in short-term encounters.

Once you’re in the bedroom with your clothes off and sex starts, the seduction is complete.

If the man happens to be a selfish lover who doesn’t even think about pleasing the woman, it won’t matter at all if it was only casual sex… at least for this man.

We could argue that even in a relationship (unless the man is a very poor lover) “good enough” is “good enough” to keep going most of the time.

We don’t mean to tell you to be bad in bed here, this is just a scenario. If you want to be a girl’s best, you also have to be her sexual best.

This whole paragraph should not mean that you should not take care of your deeper virtue and values.

We still recommend you take them on, also for yourself and your own development. However, if the priority is dating success, then well, focus on external and visible traits and layers.

Which leads to the third step: marketing the deeper layers.

Strategically displaying invisible traits

There are some bad news regarding this:

Your deeper character qualities don’t matter…. Unless you find a way to show them.

If you can’t find a way to show your drive, conscientiousness, diligence, intelligence, etc., it’s as if they don’t exist.

Therefore you have to ask yourself: how can you showcase your deeper virtues without looking like you’re selling yourself or qualifying?

If you don’t show them, they don’t exist.

However if you’re too direct in trying to display these traits, you’re selling yourself to your target, and that’s usually the position where you have the least power.

So the art of the game is to show something without being directly promotional.

Pause here and come up with some honest signals and a few stories that bring your deeper qualities closer to the surface.

If one of the things you come up with is that you have to buy an expensive watch to showcase that you’re rather well off when it comes to finances, that’s alright.

There’s nothing wrong with an expensive watch. Think about it, make a list, and we’ll learn many more strategies and techniques on this blog.

For now, we’re out. Check out more content along these lines Here.

Have a good one, fellas.

Cheers,

Conquer and Elevate