Fellas, today’s article is absolutely imperative for your success in finding a loyal woman and can be used as sort of a checklist to vet a potential partner for compatibility and high value.

We all want a loyal and faithful partner in our life. But what makes such a partner? How can you find out if the woman you’re currently dating will stay faithful to you? Are there certain characteristics to look out for?

We will answer all these questions and more in today’s article!

Also, if you want to have an even deeper insight on this topic, check out this article. Highly recommended for everyone who wants to take their game to the next level.

Oh, and please don’t think that this list (or other ones on this blog) are the holy grail of finding your partner. These attributes are just indications. The other side of the coin are the behaviors of the women you’re screening.

While you can’t base entering a commitment / dating phase soley on how fast your dick gets hard because of a woman, we also don’t advise you to operate in the framework of: “If I can tick off 6 things on this list, a woman is perfect for me!”

Everyone is different and examples (sometimes) apply. Rather than seeing this list as the holy grail, consider it a generalized guideline based on scientific evidence. However, also think for yourself god damn it!

The manosphere has too much binary thinking and stupidity sometimes, and we’re really not here for it. Apply some critical thinking skills.

The traits of loyal partners

According to statistics, there are certain traits which indicate a strong connection to being loyal and faithful when in a committed relationship. These are the following:

• Attends religious services / Places a high importance on religion
• Age (more mature partners have done enough “evaluations”)
• Has friends who live in a committed relationship
• Lives in a small city
• Has a social circle that holds monogamy as a value
• Comes from a family who lived monogamously and places a high importance on it
• If she’s a woman, comes from a family with a present father
• Works alone
• Works close to home
• Doesn’t travel much for business
• Conservative cultural background and upbringing
• Introverted

Options are also important, especially for men. On average, more females who are ready to engage in casual sex make men less likely to stay loyal.

This of course assumes, that they have the status to get these women. The political system also contributes to the fact that cheating takes place more often. There are no longer any negative costs for women if they cheat.

Traits connected with a higher likelihood of infidelity

As much as there are traits that make people more likely to stay faithful, there are also certain values correlating with a higher rate of infidelity. Avoid the following traits:

• Has a libertine social circle
• Is an extroverted person
• Plays up “exploitability” signals by playing stupid
• Previously sought to steal someone’s mate
• Has been stolen away from an existing relationship (ie.: left a partner for someone else)
• Neuroticism (but findings are not consistent across cultures)
• Age (younger people are in the “evaluation phase”)
• Has recently been divorced (re-enters the “evaluation phase”)
• Has recently gone through a breakup (re-enters the “evaluation phase”)
• Travels a lot for work
• Has attractive and uncoerced colleagues
• Does not worship religion
• Has a sexually liberal background
• Lives in a large metropolitan area
• Comes from a family with a history of unfaithfulness
• Physical abuse as children (We don’t want to hurt you if you are one of those people but the data speaks for itself)
• Positive past experiences with cheating
• Liberal subculture (i.e.: feminist, party girl, rebel, left orientated)
• Dark triad (narcissism, sociopathy, Machiavellianism)

A note of caution: Having one of those traits does of course not heighten the likelihood of infidelity tremendously. If things add up however, you should keep an eye out.

Parental Infidelity

This is one of the absolutely essential traits when it comes to infidelity.

A pattern of cheating in the family background increases the likelihood of future cheating. On the other hand, children of unfaithful parents can also completely shift in the opposite direction and refuse to cheat altogether.

A parent’s obvious infidelity can cause an imprint on the child’s brain, which can push it to an extreme reaction of either following the parent’s example or categorically refusing to do so.

The meaning of a present father in the family

There is a strong correlation between a woman’s ability to stay faithful and a present father in the family. While this remains a fact, there are two popular theories undermining this statement:

One is that the woman is not able to trust men and their ability to invest anymore, so she goes for a short-term sexual strategy (D. Buss, the evolution of desire).

The second one is that she grows in an harsher environment, and thus matures earlier and starts having sex earlier (Geoffrey Miller, the mating mind).

And, finally, it might just be that women born from fathers who are likely to deploy short term, casual sex strategies, are also more likely to do the same.

However, a present father is more likely to pass on his “long-term strategy” to his children, provide a nurturing environment and signal that men are indeed capable of investing. This signals to a woman that cooperation plays out to be superior.

The importance of values when looking for a loyal partner

Although a religious tendency in a partner certainly helps with deciding how loyal a partner will be in the future, values matter more.

Shirley Glass’ clinical experience for example shows, that personal values have an even bigger impact on a partners ability to stay faithful.

It has been the experience of many relationship counselors, that affair partners met at church functions and deepened their bond through their common spiritual beliefs. The less observant spouse was completely unaware of this.

What I mean by values is a strong belief in monogamy and the construct of marriage (or simply commitment) and putting the interest of the relationship and both individuals in there before their own.

Opportunities for cheating

Please note that there also are external factors which cannot be evaluated accurately or change during the relationship.

One of the biggest factors is gender ratio, or to be more precise, how much women there are per man and vice versa. As an example, your partner might change his work environment or visit a school and suddenly have lots of attractive mates around.

Jon Birger for example explains how the gender ratio completely changes people’s behavior and attitude towards relationships and sex.

• More men available: Women get pickier

On average, women become pickier when more men are around and men invest more time and energy into mate guarding, are more committed and nicer. Women tend to cheat more but the evidence shows that picking the right partner is more interesting for them then swinging from one man to another.

• More women available: men cheat more

When there are more women, men tend to change their sexual strategy into more of a “wham bam thank you ma’am” strategy. They prefer staying single and having casual sex rather than committing to just one woman. In relationships, they are also more likely to stray.

Make her stay loyal

This article is more about traits of loyal partners and less about what we as men can contribute to prevent our women from cheating. Nevertheless, this is also highly important, which is why I also want to give you a quick primer:

• Don’t be a whimp
• Don’t put up with bullshit (slap fitness tests down)
• Be open to influence in your decision making
• Be the best man she’s ever had and the best she can do
• Pay attention to her emotional needs
• Don’t cheat
• Keep taking care of yourself and your own needs
• Ban criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling (the four horsemen of relationships)
• Don’t supplicate (stop Defending, Excusing, Explaining or Rationalizing)
• Keep learning and being curious about your woman
• Make her cum

Research also shows that infidelity was rare in marriages, in which the emotional and intellectual compatibility was high and spouses had similar interests.

Inexperienced Partners cheat less / the impact of the age of first time sex when it comes to a loyal partner

Promiscuous women won’t like this, but the evidence is clear. The more sexual partners a woman had, the less likely is she to be happy in a long-term monogamous relationship and the higher the likelihood of infidelity.

In addition to that, Robert J. Levin and Amy Levin ran a survey on 100’000 women and found a strong correlation between the age a woman lost her virginity and the likelihood of extramarital affairs.

Only 16% of women who lost their virginity after the age of 21 reported cheating, compared to 48% of women who lost their virginity at 15 years or younger.

The exception; emotional affairs. They begin slowly and are not predicted by premarital sexual permissiveness (Glass, 2004).

If you fail to provide a strong relationship and an emotional bond, you risk cheating no matter how inexperienced your woman is.

The Danger of little experience

Note that there is also some danger with inexperienced women. When it comes to the prospect of having sex with a more experienced man of higher value, those types of women show very little resistance to the “let’s head back to my place for some drinks” due to their curiosity and eagerness.

Very little experience (one or two partners) can mean more curiosity to “try out” other men. This is especially true if a woman has never had an orgasm before.

Therefore, conservative women who can orgasm and range between 2-5 partners might be the best choice.

Once a cheater, always a cheater

If a partner cheated in a pervious relationship, a big red flag should pop off in your head. Partners who cheated once will probably cheat again and have a harder time staying a loyal partner.

Some evidence suggests a 350% higher likelihood of cheating happening again in the future after doing it once.

We know that people can change. But do you really want to take the chance? We definitely wouldn’t.

Gender differences when it comes to loyalty

Men and women value different things when it comes to loyalty. While men care more about sexual fidelity, women care more about emotional loyalty.

We can explain this consulting evolutionary psychology once again.

The biggest fear for men is that they are being cuckolded and have to rear another man’s child. A man can never be 100% sure if the offspring his women bears is truly coming from his seed. It thus makes sense that men pay the most attention on the sexual fidelity of their mate. A loyal partner to a man is a sexually faithful partner.

For women, the situation is different. If they get pregnant, they obviously know that the child is theirs. Women’s goal is to secure the commitment and resources of one man to ensure her survival and that of her offspring.

Her man falling in love with another woman poses the threat that he will ultimately commit his resources to the new partner.

Loyalty for men:

Men can be loyal to a country, a company, or a team. For men loyalty is important, as it’s a characteristic that defines high value in a man. A loyal man is a real man.

Loyalty for women:  

Contrasting to men, women are more practical, and their loyalty is more fluid, depending on both their emotions and on the situation. Women are also rarely loyal to a country, a company or a team and her bonds are more personal.

Summary

Infidelity is a phenomenon widespread in all societies of the world.

How likely a partner is to cheat depends on various factors, of which some are environmental and others more personal.

This article provided an overview on what to look for if you want a loyal partner.

I would recommend that you take this list into account when you go on a date and try to vet a woman for quality.

Posing questions and really get to know a woman on a deeper level will reveal more of her character and you can then decide how and if to move forward with the interaction.

Sources:

There are a wide range of sources we used to compose this article. Some are mentioned in the list below, some are based on our own experience and some are due to interviewing several people and their experience with the topic at hand.

Be advised, however, that even if some of the things on this list are from personal experience, they are all backed by research, studies or literature.

• Lynn Atwater ( 1982) The extramarital connection, New York: Irvington
• Emily Brown (1991), Patterns of infidelity and their treatment, New York: Brunner/Mazel
• Bonnie E. Weil and R. Winter (1993), Adultery: The forgivable sin, New York: Birch Lane Press
• Carol R. Ellison (2000), Women’s sexualities. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger
• Sally D. Stabb, Brandi Ragsdale, Alison J. Bess, and Heather Weiner (2000), Multigenerational patterns of infidelity and their relationship to attachment
• John F. Cuber and Peggy B. Haroff (1965), The significant Americans: A study of sexual behavior among the affluent. New York: Appleton Century Crofts
• Bonnie E. Weil and R. Winter (1993), Adultery: The forgivable sin, New York: Birch Lane Press
• Carol R. Ellison (2000), Women’s sexualities. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger
• Shirley Glass (2004), Not Just Friends
• Todd K. Shackelford et al (2008), Big Five Traits Related to Short-Term Mating: From Personality to Promiscuity across 46 Nations
• Getz et al (2014), The allure of vulnerability: Advertising cues to exploitability as a signal of sexual accessibility

Thanks for tuning in,

ConquerandElevate