The title should already tell you exactly what we’re going to discuss in this article. How you enter a relationship with a woman has a huge impact on how it will progress with time.

Therefore, we want to give you the game-plan on what to do before entering one.

Also, check out our guide on how to find a loyal partner in addition to this piece in order to get the best results.

Before we dive into it, we want to give you a warning. If you haven’t dated a woman for at least 3-6 months, you have no idea how she really is.

People put on a mask at the beginning of a dating phase (except you, since you read here) and try to put their best foot forward.

In other word, the person they display is not an accurate representation of them on a day-to-day basis. Therefore, it’s good strategy to date a woman for a bit before taking her seriously and entering a relationship that is serious.

This way, you can screen her appropriately and observe her behavior before making any rash decisions.

Screening for a suitable partner

Before we even enter the discussion on what to do before committing to a girl, we first want you to ask yourself a question.

Is she the right girl for you long-term?

Let’s be honest here. Just because she’s pretty and touches your dick doesn’t mean that she will make for a good partner. If you base your screening on superficial attributes, you’re in for a world of pain as soon as the “honeymoon period” of the relationship slowly fades away.

Don’t know what to screen for? Start with this article: The guide on how to find a loyal partner

What to look for in women before entering any kind of relationship

In addition to the things mentioned in above article, we encourage you to screen for the following things:

• She is a pleasant human being all around
• She has respect for you
• Being able to submit to your leadership in the relationship (assuming you’re able to back it up with your leadership skills). This also means that she does not question every decision you try to make.
• She’s appreciative for things you do
• She’s a humble person
• She’s happy with what she’s got, it’s not always about getting more
• She has a positive, youthful and upbeat demeanor
• She’s playful
• She’s feminine (non-combative, no drama)
• She has appropriate communication skills
• She’s able to state her needs in a controlled fashion without nagging or getting upset
• She’s making your life easier (looks for what you hate to do or are not efficient in and then helps you complete these tasks)
• She’s a pleasant host when guests are around
• She avoids defensiveness, criticism and contempt (they can ruin your relationships)
• She avoids playing games and manipulating you
• She avoids being loud and obnoxious
• She avoids being arrogant

Avoid women with the following traits for commitments

• Having an onlyfans or working in the sex industry
• Posting provocative pictures on social media platforms (i.e. Signaling being single on social media, advertising herself in order to get attention from other men)
• Signaling that she’s well travelled and have enjoyed many luxuries
• Being a “party girl” / going to clubs, bars or parties often
• Having a girl’s night out every weekend
• Wearing provocative clothing in order to garner the attention from other men
• Having a “guy best friend” (which doesn’t work unless the guy friend finds your girl absolutely unattractive)
• Being flirtatious to other guys while you’re in a relationship
• Playing “triangulation” games to get your attention
• Going on “girl’s trips” (without you, especially if she’s planning to go to a place famous for partying such as Tulum or Miami etc.)
• Playing games to gain power in the relationship

You think that this is a long list? Well, when it comes to your success in the dating market, you better screen women appropriately. Entering a relationship based on how fast your dick gets hard because of her is certainly important, but only half of the story.

One of the most important thing when it comes to this is seeing what the woman’s values are and with what perspective she sees the world around her.

If her perspective aligns with yours, you will have a much better time with her and enjoy being together on a completely different level. It’s also easier to instill some more values in her since she already shares part of your worldview.

In other words: She more easily falls into your frame and follows your program.

Pro Tip

Don’t ever let women shame you for your preferences. Many women would possibly point at this list and condemn us for at least one item on it. Modern women have the tendency to shame men into accepting behavior that lowers their value when it comes to the sexual marketplace.

They go ahead and call men insecure for not wanting them to advertise themselves to other men or having a guy best friend while they’re in a relationship.

However, bullying a man into accepting foolish behavior helps neither of the two partners. It just leads to unhappiness and contempt.

In our opinion, it’s better to accept reality as it is and adapt to become the best version of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, self-improvement is the key to happiness.

Find out what you don’t want… And then what you want!

Now that you know what to avoid before entering a relationship with a woman, we want to give you a word of caution.

Although we made sure to include everything in this list we deem important, it’s really hard to generalize this stuff. Each of us is an individual with a mind of his own.

Therefore, we encourage you to find out what you want and what you don’t want for yourself.

You may disagree with some things we mentioned or want to add some things to these lists. It’s on you to put the pieces together to find out what you accept… and also what you don’t accept.

In other words, we want you to build some boundaries.

Many people have no clear idea on what they want but know exactly what they don’t want. Consequently, the easiest thing to do first is to define what you don’t want and where you don’t want to end up.

I encourage you to list these things and make a promise to yourself that you will not accept any of this in your life anymore. This is the first step to creating boundaries.

Have boundaries for god’s sake!

The above mentioned paragraph should help you in creating some boundaries and standards in your life.

Many modern men are pushovers who roll over and play dead as soon as their girl has a slight attitude. You must be different when it comes to this and have clear boundaries that cannot be violated without consequence.

The problem we see is that men today have no standards when it comes to women. Men have become so weak that they not only let women shame them for their standards. These men also go ahead and shift their perspective to acquiesce these same women.

This is unacceptable behavior for a man of high value.

Being in a commitment with you comes with certain prerequisites. If a woman cannot comply with these prerequisites, she has to go.

Never, under no circumstance, do you enter relationship with a woman who doesn’t want to respect these boundaries of yours. This is also why we lay some ground rules at the beginning of the commitment, but more on this later.

This is the biggest part of your frame. You lay the ground rules of the relationship and stick to these rules no matter what.

If a woman doesn’t accept your standards, you can have fun with each other and fool around a bit, but you don’t take them seriously.

Relationships are a woman’s job

Up until now, we have established two things:

1. You need to screen a woman to see if she’s the right person for you
2. You need iron-solid boundaries

Now we’re going to make a third assertion:

• Relationships are a woman’s job

Now you’ll probably ask yourselves if that means that you can just lean back, drink beer and let her do all the work in the relationship.

Hell no.

The phrase “a relationship is a woman’s job” relates to the stages of the relationships and the progression of it. The woman must make it clear that she wants your commitment/ a ring/ a marriage / tells you she loves you and so on.

In other words, she has to initiate the “where are we” talk. We can’t tell you exactly how much time it takes until these words (or something similar to them) come out of her mouth.

However, we’ve made the experience that women will ask you the “where are we” question about 2-3 months into the dating phase, assuming you know what you’re doing. This is no guarantee, though.

What we will tell you, is that she will utter them rather sooner than later, especially if you know what you’re doing.

Why letting a woman initiate the “where are we” talk it important

Letting her initiate these talks will consolidate the power-dynamic so that the following is accomplished:

• You now (officially) hold the leverage in the relationship, since the woman wants to have your commitment. This means that you can lay down ground rules which are prerequisites for the relationship to exist. (power-positive)
  • She values you more, since your commitment comes with prerequisites
  • She values you more since she has to work to get/keep your commitment
• You are in the leadership position and can establish your frame
• Your commitment is very valuable to women, and you put a price tag on it (power-positive)

Look, this is pure human nature. We value and take care of something we had to work for much more than something that just fell in our hands.

Never initiate “The Talk” as a man

This is also why you, as the man, should never initiate these relationship talks. If you do, you’re essentially looking to the girl for leadership and to define the frame of the relationship for you.

This is a low-power move and will:

• Make her gain the power-up position in the relationship (power negative for you)
• Make her lose attraction and respect for you (negative just in general)
• Make her value you less since she clearly didn’t have to work to get your commitment. What is not earned has no value (power-negative for you)

How to inform a girl of your boundaries and standards

After we laid the groundwork for the heart of this article, we want to give you some methods with which you can communicate your boundaries in a relationship covertly.

If there are blatant forms of disrespect in the talking stage (if you want to know more about that, we highly encourage you to check out our e-book regarding shit-tests, and the article “games women play”) you slap them down.

There are also two distinct methods by which you can communicate your standards early on or at least see if they are met:

1. Pure observation
2. Statements of fact

We also have the third method to solidify the boundaries as soon as the “talk” happens:

• The frame announcement

Method 1: Pure observation

We have to be honest here, this is not really a way to communicate boundaries, but more so a way to know if a woman has values herself.

This is as straightforward as it gets. A woman that really likes you will come to the realization that she cannot do certain things anymore as soon as she catches feelings for you and wants you to take her seriously.

If she’s serious about you and really likes you, she will stop advertising herself on her socials anymore, stop entertaining other guys and signal that she’s talking to someone.

Behaviors that could be labelled more as “single behaviors” will get less and stop, even before entering a relationship.

The only thing you do here is observe if “single behaviors” stop. If you’re the best she can do, she will restrain herself from putting herself out there or behave in a way which might signal “Hey, I’m still single and looking for someone”.

Quick reminder: Women are marketers, men are salesmen

Remember that women are marketers when it comes to their sexual strategy. They are seldom direct when it comes to pursuing a man.

Men, on the other hand, are more like salesmen who “pitch” to women they like and try to display their value.

Rather than this, women make themselves “available” in order for the man to take initiative and make the first step.

This is true whether it is in real life or on social media. You ever noticed a woman suddenly “spawning” next to you at a club? Or a woman posting provocative pictures to illicit a reaction from men? You see this dynamic in place there.

If “single behavior” like this doesn’t stop when you’re aiming for a relationship for a woman, don’t take her seriously.

Method 2: Statements of fact

This is our preferred method for subcommunicating what we expect and what we don’t accept.

Let’s say you’re talking about something with a woman and she mentions a specific situation / you observe a situation in which a woman does something you would never accept.

You simply say something like this:

You: “That’s crazy, I could never date a woman seriously who does …” or “I couldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who does ….”

These are statements of facts.

You talk about it in the same way gravity works on that fork in your hand while you eat.

It’s about stating how it is.

With this method, you subcommunicate that you also wouldn’t take her seriously if she did something like this.

One method the authors like to use is to covertly lead the conversation in a specific direction we want and then strategically drop a statement of fact in order to communicate boundaries early on during the dating process.

Of course, you can also use these if you’re already in a relationship.

Pro Tip: Combination is the key!

In order to get the most out of these methods, we recommend you to combine them. Here’s the method:

1. Drop statements of facts early on in the dating process as to subcommunicate some of the boundaries you have.
2. Observe what she does with these statements. Does she use them to be a better match for you? Does she actively try to avoid doing the behaviors you discussed in those moments? Does she supplicate to these statements
3. Decide on how to move forward based on what the woman does with these statements.

What you’re effectively doing here are so called OODA loops: observe–orient–decide–act, which are a military concept.

This is a simple guide on how to see if a woman is fit for a relationship. If you’re using this method together with the screening we discussed earlier, you’re now can objectively assess whether the woman is fit for a relationship.

As soon as “the talk” happens…

… you use the third method we already stated many times throughout this article. You go ahead and establish your frame. In this phase, you essentially state the ground rules for the relationship to happen officially.

Your woman has to know that if these boundaries are not respected at all times, there is no relationship. Of course, there is some nuance to this, especially when it comes to boundary enforcement.

Some boundaries (like staying loyal) are grounds for you to blow up the relationship and leave.

With others, you will have to use different tools we will also discuss on this blog.

Example of openly establishing your frame during “the talk”

Let’s now go ahead and give you an example regarding how you can state these boundaries. Let’s say she initiates “the talk”.

1. Use LUCA (a communication model you can read about here)
2. As soon as you got to the bottom of the issue, i.e. her wanting something more seriously with you, you communicate how you will move forward with the situation.

What to do if you want to commit to her

If you want to commit to this woman, you could say something like this after you have gotten to the conclusion that she indeed wants a commitment from you:

You: “It sounds to me as if you want to enter a commitment with me. While I appreciate this sentiment and think it would be a good idea, we will need to set some ground rules in order for this relationship to work in a productive way. I will start and then you can follow up with things you want to mention.”

Then you can list the conditions under which the relationship will work. If the woman doesn’t comply with these rules, we recommend to not enter a commitment with her.

This conversation is either comply or goodbye. Of course, you can clarify some things if she has questions about your boundaries, but don’t let her talk you out of them.

If she does, this is a red flag and you should consider taking your decision back.

After you’re finished, you can ask her to share her boundaries and lead the process in order to come to a conclusion. At this stage, it’s important to really bring the point across that there is no relationship without adhering to these boundaries.

What to do if it’s too early to commit to her / if you don’t want to

Well, what happens if you don’t want to commit to a woman? In this case, the first two steps as mentioned above stay the same.

What you do afterwards is dependent on how you want to continue with the interaction. Since this page is big on integrity, we would propose that you’re staying honest and state exactly where you stand.

It makes no sense to string a woman along who wants to get into a relationship. If she wants to stay dating you even if you don’t want to commit to her, that’s her decision. If she wants to leave, that’s okay, too.

Outcome independence, people.

Okay, to give you an example on what you could say if you don’t want to enter a commitment with this woman:

You: “It sounds to me as if you want to enter a commitment with me. While I appreciate this sentiment and think you’re an attractive, fun person to be around, I don’t see myself entering a commitment with you. I like what we have now and would like it to stay that way. Even if it’d be a pity, if you’re not okay with that, you’re free to leave or do whatever you like.”

With a response like this, you covered it all. You power-protect by saying that she’s a valuable person for you but still enforce your boundaries.

You also leave the option for her on the table to continue the thing you’re having, while at the same time stating that you’re also okay if she leaves and finds her luck elsewhere.

This is very powerful. And honest.

It’s very well possible that you lose a girl if you answer with something like this, but that shouldn’t be a concern for you either way. You still stated your conditions, and if she accepts them, you can continue on the thing you’re having.

Example of what to say if it’s just too early but a relationship is still on the table later

If you’re thinking about pursuing a relationship in the future, you can also alter the wording to communicate that the option of a commitment is still on the table, but that it’s too early now.

Something like this:

You: “It sounds to me as if you want to enter a commitment with me. While I appreciate this sentiment and think you’re an attractive, fun person to be around, I don’t see myself entering a commitment with you at this point in time. It’s too early for me and I would like to get to know you more before making a big decision like this.”

She will surely ask you once more after a bit of time. As soon as you’re ready, you lay down the ground rules as stated above.

That’s it for today’s article.

Godspeed, brother